p–ISSN: 2723 - 6609 e-ISSN: 2745-5254
Vol. 4, No. 9 September 2023 http://jist.publikasiindonesia.id/
Doi: 10.36418/jist.xxxx.xxx 1335
EGODYSTONIC HOMOSEXUALS IN HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGES (A
STUDY OF CHRISTIAN DISCOURSE)
Irene Oktadiana Setijo
1
*, Amin Budiasih
2
, Hudi Winarso
3
Ciputra University Surabaya, Indonesia
Email: [email protected]
1
2
,
3
*Correspondence
ARTICLE INFO
ABSTRACT
Accepted
: 13-08-2023
Revised
: 09-09-2023
Approved
: 25-09-2023
Egodystonic type homosexuality is a condition where the individual has
internal conflicts over his homosexual behavior. Therefore, not a few
egodystonic homosexuals hide their sexual orientation by marrying the
opposite sex, which we call heterosexual marriage. This study aims to
analyze homosexuals engaged in heterosexual marriage, and the effect
on their marital life. The method used in this research is a
literature study. This study also analyzes the Christian view of
homosexuals who are involved in heterosexual marriages. The result of
this study is that humans were created as heterosexual beings, starting
with the creation of Adam and Eve. The purpose of creating two sexes is
to execute the reproductive function and for humans to not fall into
sexual sin. In Christian’s view, it is stated that homosexual relationship
is an abomination and forbidden. Marriage in Christianity is a sacred
covenant before God. Homosexuals who engage in heterosexual
marriages will have lots of conflicts, including having problems with
themselves and their partners. Homosexuals in heterosexual marriage are
recommended to take intensive consultation with marriage counselors,
for marital happiness.
Keywords: Conflicts;
Homosexuality Egodystonic;
Marriages.
Introduction
In this era of Globalization, the phenomenon of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and
Transgender (LGBT) is increasingly being discussed. LGBT is no longer a taboo even
though it is still a sensitive issue in Indonesia. Homosexuality is a part of LGBT, where
Homosexuality is a condition of a person having sexual attraction to the same sex
(Rakhmawati, 2018).
Not all homosexuals want to admit their sexual orientation. Not a few decide to
marry the opposite sex to hide their sexual orientation (Safitri, Kusuma, & Kom, 2017).
Some homosexual perpetrators feel disturbed by their sexual orientation and want to
change it, this type of homosexuality is referred to as egodystonic type homosexuality
(Rahayu, 2021). This type of homosexual tends to enter a heterosexual marriage, not only
to hide his sexuality but also because he denied his sexual orientation. Entering
heterosexual marriage not only be a solution for them. but also can cause some problems.
In Christianity, homosexuality is an abomination and a sin (Prakoso, Arifianto, &
Suseno, 2020). However, the Bible does not mention homosexuals marrying members of
the opposite sex. The author tries to see this phenomenon from a Christian point of view.
Not only about homosexuals in Christian’s view but also what they need to know and do
Irene Oktadiana Setijo, Amin Budiasih, Hudi Winarso
Jurnal Indonesia Sosial Teknologi, Vol. 4, No. 9, Septemer 2023 1336
before entering a heterosexual marriage. Homosexuals need to learn the basis of Christian
marriages, to do that, attending marriage counseling is one of the methods they can use.
Research Methods
The method used in this research is a literature study. The author collected data
from various sources on the topic of homosexuality, homosexuality in heterosexual
marriages, and Christian studies on the topic. Then the author will explain in the form of
a descriptive narrative.
Results and Discussion
1. Homosexual
Homosexuality is the condition of a person having a sexual attraction to the same
sex. This phenomenon can occur in both males and females. Homosexuality in men is
better known as Gay, while in women it is called Lesbian (Oetomo, 2001).
The sexual orientation experienced by homosexuals can include patterns of
emotions, love, and sexual attraction to the same sex. This sexual orientation affects how
homosexuals see themselves and behave. (American Psychological Association, 2008).
Egodystonic is a condition where an individual feels disturbed by his sexual orientation,
then Egodystonic homosexuals are also individuals who are aware of their sexual
orientation but feel disturbed and have the urge to change their sexual orientation
(Rahayu, 2021). Homosexuals are one of the perpetrators of deviation, this behavior can
be divided into 3 groups (Himawan, 2007), namely:
a. Inverted where sexual orientation must always be of the same sex.
b. Amphygenously inverted aberration is called bisexual. Sexual orientation can be
directed at both sexes.
c. Occasionally Inverted where sexual orientation changes in certain situations and does
not persist.
Homosexuality is not a disease or disorder in the field of psychiatry, this is
supported by the elimination of homosexual diagnoses in the DSM since 1973 until now
(Khairani & Saefudin, 2018). In Indonesia, homosexual actors, especially gays, tend to
increase every year. Based on estimated data from the Indonesian Ministry of Health in
2012, there were approximately 1,095,970 activists and members of LGBT groups
(Widari, 2021). This increase is supported by the increase in cases of sexually transmitted
diseases in Indonesia. Based on the Integrated Biological and Behavioral Survey in 2013,
the prevalence of HIV in gay or male actors (MSM) was 12.8%, while the prevalence of
sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially syphilis in MSM, was 11.3% (Ministry
of Health, 2014). In a study conducted in the city of Garut, from 208 HIV patients at
RSUD Kab. Garut found that 82.2% of them were homosexuals (Kusumah,
Sastramihardja, & Sastramihardja, 2023). Indeed, there is no exact data on the number of
homosexuals in Indonesia, because not all LGBT people are open and recognize their
sexual orientation.
2. Homosexuals in Heterosexual Marriages
Egodystonic Homosexuals In Heterosexual Marriages (A Study Of Christian Discourse)
Jurnal Indonesia Sosial Teknologi, Vol. 4, No. 9, September 2023 1337
Many factors influence the decision of homosexuals to enter into heterosexual
marriages. One factor is the patriarchal culture that exists in Asian countries including
Indonesia. Research in China states that homosexuals undergo marriage with the opposite
sex due to family and cultural demands as men must have children and continue the
lineage (Zhu, Stok, Bal, & de Wit, 2022). Therefore, not a few homosexual perpetrators
decide to marry the opposite sex, have children, and hide their sexual orientation
(Andriyani, 2007).
Homosexual offenders who do not acknowledge their sexual orientation at the
beginning of marriage and hide it, have a tendency to cheat with their same-sex (Kalbali
in Linton, 2022).
Factors that influence homosexual offenders to undergo marriage with the opposite
sex.
a. Heterosexual Marital Intention (HMI), there is a personal desire to enter married life
with the opposite sex.
b. Internalize Homophobia (IF) is a self-view of one's identity as a homosexual
perpetrator and one's response to surrounding responses.
c. Homosexual Identity Formation (HIF), which is the extent to which homosexual
perpetrators identify themselves as homosexuals.
d. Self-recognition to spouse and family.
e. Social support from family and friends
According to research (Shi, Xu, & Zheng, 2020), the higher the HMI, IF, and HIF
the higher the possibility for the perpetrator to marry the opposite sex.
In Bringle's study, homosexuals showed low satisfaction with a relationship and the
majority changed partners or had more than one partner (Bringle, 1995). Homosexuals
tend to have short-term relationships with their partners. This can trigger gaps in married
life. With more than one partner and changing, the risk of sexually transmitted diseases
is higher.
Homosexual offenders who hide their sexual orientation have a high risk of
depression and suicide (Ko et al., 2020). This is based on the fact that homosexuals will
try to live a heterosexual married life with their partners without showing their sexual
orientation (Linton, 2022).
Marriage with the opposite sex can be a sexual orientation change effort (SOCE).
With exposure to the opposite sex, psychotherapy will be able to change sexual
orientation. Sullins' research states that in homosexuals exposed to SOCE, attraction
scores, sexual identification, and sexual relations against the same sex will decrease, and
against the opposite sex will increase. In the study, homosexual perpetrators who had
sexual relations with the same sex as much as 71%, after exposure to SOCE reduced to
14%. On the contrary, sexual attraction and relationships with the opposite sex increase
(Sullins, Rosik, & Santero, 2021).
Reproductive function is part of the purpose of marriage. Because Eastern culture
adheres to patriarchy, one is expected to have children to pass on the lineage (Zhu et al.,
Irene Oktadiana Setijo, Amin Budiasih, Hudi Winarso
Jurnal Indonesia Sosial Teknologi, Vol. 4, No. 9, Septemer 2023 1338
2022). Not a few homosexual perpetrators also want to have biological children (Wu et
al., 2020).
3. Homosexuality in Christian Discourse
Since Creation God created two sexes, male and female. In Genesis 2:24 it is
written, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh." This verse shows that God created humans with a
heterosexual orientation (Alexander, 2021). In addition to referring to sexual relations,
the main purpose of creating two sexes is to multiply and rule the earth (Un, 2017) written
in the book of Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and
multiply; fill the earth and conquer it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and the
birds of the air, and over all the animals that creep upon the earth."
The events of Sodom and Gomorrah show that God hates homosexuality. In
Genesis chapter 19 it is said that people surrounded Lot's house looking for his two guests,
then in verse 5, they asked Lot to give them the two guests. They cried out to Lot, 'Where
are the people who come to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may use them."
The word used in this verse comes from the Hebrew "Yada", which means intercourse.
From there we can conclude that the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah also practiced
homosexuality (Ekoliesanto, 2022). This abomination ended with God destroying Sodom
and Gomorrah.
In Leviticus 18:22, God said to Moses, "You shall not sleep with a man by
intercourse with a woman, for it is an abomination." In Leviticus 20:13, God repeats and
also describes the punishment for homosexuals. "If a man sleeps with a man in a person
having intercourse with a woman so that both of them commit an abomination, surely
they are put to death and their blood is shed on themselves." These verses show that Allah
forbids same-sex sexual relations (Prakoso et al., 2020).
In Canaan, Rome, and some areas of Paul's day, homosexuality was prevalent.
Many idols and gods were found at that time, one of which was the God of Fertility where
the worship ritual included intercourse with the same sex (Gunawan 2012). This is also
discussed by Paul in Romans 1:25-32. Paul explained that wickedness causes humans to
worship idols and results in the chaos of life orientation, including sexual orientation
(Prakoso et al., 2020).
4. Homosexuals in Heterosexual Marriages according to the Christian concept
In the beginning, the initiative of marriage was not from man, but from God.
Genesis 2:18 says "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a
helper for him, who is commensurate with him." God wanted marriage because He saw
that it was not good for Adam alone. This is followed in Genesis 2:24 which contains
God's command in marriage, namely to multiply and full of Earth (Jatmiko, 2021).
Marriage is a sacred covenant before God, in which husband and wife share the
same promise and commitment before God. The core covenant should not be tainted with
sexual relations outside of husband and wife marriage. God wants monogamous and
heterosexual marriages. In Genesis 2, God made Eve for Adam, one man and one woman.
This confirms God's desire for a monogamous relationship. In addition, in Deuteronomy
Egodystonic Homosexuals In Heterosexual Marriages (A Study Of Christian Discourse)
Jurnal Indonesia Sosial Teknologi, Vol. 4, No. 9, September 2023 1339
17:17, Allah also says that polygamy is forbidden (Prabowo, 2022). God also forbids
infidelity, as written in Exodus 20:14, where one of the laws is "Thou shalt not commit
adultery", This is also reaffirmed in Hebrews 13:4 "Be all respectful of marriage and do
not defile the bed, for harlots and adulterers will be judged by God."
Christian marriage must be based on love. Love for God and your partner. A
husband is obligated to love his wife as Christ loves his church. A husband who truly
loves his wife will not be rude and hurt his wife (Antony, 2020). So that in his household
there will be no infidelity and divorce. God hates divorce until it is written in Mark 10:9,
"Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate."(Prabowo, 2022).
When a homosexual decides to marry the opposite sex, it is by God's Word. But the
marriage must be based on love, not coercion or to hide his sexual orientation.
Homosexuals must understand very well what marriage means and its responsibilities
before God and his wife. So that in his marriage it is expected that there will be no
adultery and divorce. For this reason, it is better for men and women who will marry to
follow premarital guidance (Lie & Oktariadi, 2019).
Conclusion
Egodystonic homosexuality is a type of homosexuality that has conflicts with its
behavior, there is a desire to behave sexually like men in general. Entering into a
heterosexual marriage can be a solution but also has the potential to cause new problems
involving other individuals. In Christianity, it is explained that homosexuality is an
abomination in the eyes of God. God wants humans to be heterosexual beings. However,
in a Christian marriage, there is a value that must be understood because it is a holy
covenant before God. Therefore, before proceeding to marriage, a premarital consultation
with a marriage counselor is deemed necessary. It is expected that homosexuals
understand more about their orientation, the basic basis of Christian marriage, and the
problems that may arise in their marriage. This counseling will hopefully help determine
the chosen step in a better concept.
Irene Oktadiana Setijo, Amin Budiasih, Hudi Winarso
Jurnal Indonesia Sosial Teknologi, Vol. 4, No. 9, Septemer 2023 1340
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