EGODYSTONIC HOMOSEXUALS IN HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGES (A STUDY OF CHRISTIAN DISCOURSE)

ABSTRACT


Introduction
In this era of Globalization, the phenomenon of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) is increasingly being discussed.
LGBT is no longer a taboo even though it is still a sensitive issue in Indonesia.Homosexuality is a part of LGBT, where Homosexuality is a condition of a person having sexual attraction to the same sex (Rakhmawati, 2018).
Not all homosexuals want to admit their sexual orientation.Not a few decide to marry the opposite sex to hide their sexual orientation (Safitri, Kusuma, & Kom, 2017).Some homosexual perpetrators feel disturbed by their sexual orientation and want to change it, this type of homosexuality is referred to as egodystonic type homosexuality (Rahayu, 2021).This type of homosexual tends to enter a heterosexual marriage, not only to hide his sexuality but also because he denied his sexual orientation.Entering heterosexual marriage not only be a solution for them.but also can cause some problems.
In Christianity, homosexuality is an abomination and a sin (Prakoso, Arifianto, & Suseno, 2020).However, the Bible does not mention homosexuals marrying members of the opposite sex.The author tries to see this phenomenon from a Christian point of view.Not only about homosexuals in Christian's view but also what they need to know and do before entering a heterosexual marriage.Homosexuals need to learn the basis of Christian marriages, to do that, attending marriage counseling is one of the methods they can use.

Research Methods
The method used in this research is a literature study.The author collected data from various sources on the topic of homosexuality, homosexuality in heterosexual marriages, and Christian studies on the topic.Then the author will explain in the form of a descriptive narrative.

Homosexual
Homosexuality is the condition of a person having a sexual attraction to the same sex.This phenomenon can occur in both males and females.Homosexuality in men is better known as Gay, while in women it is called Lesbian (Oetomo, 2001).
The sexual orientation experienced by homosexuals can include patterns of emotions, love, and sexual attraction to the same sex.This sexual orientation affects how homosexuals see themselves and behave.(American Psychological Association, 2008).Egodystonic is a condition where an individual feels disturbed by his sexual orientation, then Egodystonic homosexuals are also individuals who are aware of their sexual orientation but feel disturbed and have the urge to change their sexual orientation (Rahayu, 2021).Homosexuals are one of the perpetrators of deviation, this behavior can be divided into 3 groups (Himawan, 2007), namely: a. Inverted where sexual orientation must always be of the same sex.b.Amphygenously inverted aberration is called bisexual.Sexual orientation can be directed at both sexes.c.Occasionally Inverted where sexual orientation changes in certain situations and does not persist.Homosexuality is not a disease or disorder in the field of psychiatry, this is supported by the elimination of homosexual diagnoses in the DSM since 1973 until now (Khairani & Saefudin, 2018).In Indonesia, homosexual actors, especially gays, tend to increase every year.Based on estimated data from the Indonesian Ministry of Health in 2012, there were approximately 1,095,970 activists and members of LGBT groups (Widari, 2021).This increase is supported by the increase in cases of sexually transmitted diseases in Indonesia.Based on the Integrated Biological and Behavioral Survey in 2013, the prevalence of HIV in gay or male actors (MSM) was 12.8%, while the prevalence of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially syphilis in MSM, was 11.3% (Ministry of Health, 2014).In a study conducted in the city of Garut, from 208 HIV patients at RSUD Kab.Garut found that 82.2% of them were homosexuals (Kusumah, Sastramihardja, & Sastramihardja, 2023).Indeed, there is no exact data on the number of homosexuals in Indonesia, because not all LGBT people are open and recognize their sexual orientation.

Homosexuals in Heterosexual Marriages
Many factors influence the decision of homosexuals to enter into heterosexual marriages.One factor is the patriarchal culture that exists in Asian countries including Indonesia.Research in China states that homosexuals undergo marriage with the opposite sex due to family and cultural demands as men must have children and continue the lineage (Zhu, Stok, Bal, & de Wit, 2022).Therefore, not a few homosexual perpetrators decide to marry the opposite sex, have children, and hide their sexual orientation (Andriyani, 2007).
Homosexual offenders who do not acknowledge their sexual orientation at the beginning of marriage and hide it, have a tendency to cheat with their same-sex (Kalbali in Linton, 2022).
Factors that influence homosexual offenders to undergo marriage with the opposite sex.a. Heterosexual Marital Intention (HMI), there is a personal desire to enter married life with the opposite sex.b.Internalize Homophobia (IF) is a self-view of one's identity as a homosexual perpetrator and one's response to surrounding responses.c.Homosexual Identity Formation (HIF), which is the extent to which homosexual perpetrators identify themselves as homosexuals.d.Self-recognition to spouse and family.e. Social support from family and friends According to research (Shi, Xu, & Zheng, 2020), the higher the HMI, IF, and HIF the higher the possibility for the perpetrator to marry the opposite sex.
In Bringle's study, homosexuals showed low satisfaction with a relationship and the majority changed partners or had more than one partner (Bringle, 1995).Homosexuals tend to have short-term relationships with their partners.This can trigger gaps in married life.With more than one partner and changing, the risk of sexually transmitted diseases is higher.
Homosexual offenders who hide their sexual orientation have a high risk of depression and suicide (Ko et al., 2020).This is based on the fact that homosexuals will try to live a heterosexual married life with their partners without showing their sexual orientation (Linton, 2022).
Marriage with the opposite sex can be a sexual orientation change effort (SOCE).With exposure to the opposite sex, psychotherapy will be able to change sexual orientation.Sullins' research states that in homosexuals exposed to SOCE, attraction scores, sexual identification, and sexual relations against the same sex will decrease, and against the opposite sex will increase.In the study, homosexual perpetrators who had sexual relations with the same sex as much as 71%, after exposure to SOCE reduced to 14%.On the contrary, sexual attraction and relationships with the opposite sex increase (Sullins, Rosik, & Santero, 2021).
Reproductive function is part of the purpose of marriage.Because Eastern culture adheres to patriarchy, one is expected to have children to pass on the lineage (Zhu et al., 2022).Not a few homosexual perpetrators also want to have biological children (Wu et al., 2020).

Homosexuality in Christian Discourse
Since Creation God created two sexes, male and female.In Genesis 2:24 it is written, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."This verse shows that God created humans with a heterosexual orientation (Alexander, 2021).In addition to referring to sexual relations, the main purpose of creating two sexes is to multiply and rule the earth (Un, 2017) written in the book of Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and conquer it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and the birds of the air, and over all the animals that creep upon the earth." The events of Sodom and Gomorrah show that God hates homosexuality.In Genesis chapter 19 it is said that people surrounded Lot's house looking for his two guests, then in verse 5, they asked Lot to give them the two guests.They cried out to Lot, 'Where are the people who come to you tonight?Bring them out to us, that we may use them."The word used in this verse comes from the Hebrew "Yada", which means intercourse.From there we can conclude that the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah also practiced homosexuality (Ekoliesanto, 2022).This abomination ended with God destroying Sodom and Gomorrah.
In Leviticus 18:22, God said to Moses, "You shall not sleep with a man by intercourse with a woman, for it is an abomination."In Leviticus 20:13, God repeats and also describes the punishment for homosexuals."If a man sleeps with a man in a person having intercourse with a woman so that both of them commit an abomination, surely they are put to death and their blood is shed on themselves."These verses show that Allah forbids same-sex sexual relations (Prakoso et al., 2020).
In Canaan, Rome, and some areas of Paul's day, homosexuality was prevalent.Many idols and gods were found at that time, one of which was the God of Fertility where the worship ritual included intercourse with the same sex (Gunawan 2012).This is also discussed by Paul in Romans 1:25-32.Paul explained that wickedness causes humans to worship idols and results in the chaos of life orientation, including sexual orientation (Prakoso et al., 2020).

Homosexuals in Heterosexual Marriages according to the Christian concept
In the beginning, the initiative of marriage was not from man, but from God. Genesis 2:18 says "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone.I will make a helper for him, who is commensurate with him."God wanted marriage because He saw that it was not good for Adam alone.This is followed in Genesis 2:24 which contains God's command in marriage, namely to multiply and full of Earth (Jatmiko, 2021).
Marriage is a sacred covenant before God, in which husband and wife share the same promise and commitment before God.The core covenant should not be tainted with sexual relations outside of husband and wife marriage.God wants monogamous and heterosexual marriages.In Genesis 2, God made Eve for Adam, one man and one woman.This confirms God's desire for a monogamous relationship.In addition, in Deuteronomy 17:17, Allah also says that polygamy is forbidden (Prabowo, 2022).God also forbids infidelity, as written in Exodus 20:14, where one of the laws is "Thou shalt not commit adultery", This is also reaffirmed in Hebrews 13:4 "Be all respectful of marriage and do not defile the bed, for harlots and adulterers will be judged by God." Christian marriage must be based on love.Love for God and your partner.A husband is obligated to love his wife as Christ loves his church.A husband who truly loves his wife will not be rude and hurt his wife (Antony, 2020).So that in his household there will be no infidelity and divorce.God hates divorce until it is written in Mark 10:9, "Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate."(Prabowo, 2022).
When a homosexual decides to marry the opposite sex, it is by God's Word.But the marriage must be based on love, not coercion or to hide his sexual orientation.Homosexuals must understand very well what marriage means and its responsibilities before God and his wife.So that in his marriage it is expected that there will be no adultery and divorce.For this reason, it is better for men and women who will marry to follow premarital guidance (Lie & Oktariadi, 2019).

Conclusion
Egodystonic homosexuality is a type of homosexuality that has conflicts with its behavior, there is a desire to behave sexually like men in general.Entering into a heterosexual marriage can be a solution but also has the potential to cause new problems involving other individuals.In Christianity, it is explained that homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of God.God wants humans to be heterosexual beings.However, in a Christian marriage, there is a value that must be understood because it is a holy covenant before God.Therefore, before proceeding to marriage, a premarital consultation with a marriage counselor is deemed necessary.It is expected that homosexuals understand more about their orientation, the basic basis of Christian marriage, and the problems that may arise in their marriage.This counseling will hopefully help determine the chosen step in a better concept.