The Dynamics of Early Marriage in Terms of Islamic Family Psychology (Case Study in Sub-District of Bolo, Bima Regency)

ABSTRACT


Introduction
The journey of marriage will experience changes and ups and downs, and the dynamics of marriage that each couple will feel will be different (Adam, 2020).Forming a sakinah mawaddah wa rahmah family is highly expected by many people; the two prospective brides should prepare their readiness before and after the marriage is carried out because one of the goals of marriage is to get offspring, get a happy family full of peace of life and affection (Utami, 2023).The dynamics that can occur in underage marriage include low emotional maturity in facing the challenges and responsibilities associated with marriage, then challenges in parenthood; if underage marriage is followed by pregnancy, young couples will be faced with parental roles, which can make it difficult for them to provide proper care and support for their children (Iqbal, 2020).
Couples who marry underage, including nine couples, experience various marriage polemics due to lack of knowledge and are not ready to live a household life, unable to manage the dynamics of married life due to lack of basic planning preparation both in terms of maturity, lack of maturity in thinking maturity in dealing with problems in the household so that small debates can become exaggerated conflicts (Anwar, 2023).As a result, domestic relationships become less harmonious, and daily life shows that they are still single, where they go to hang out without any restrictions if they are married.In addition, what is very interesting is that the three couples who married underage were able to live a married and harmonious life, even though they experienced marital dynamics (Ilmiyah & Zunaidi, 2022).Therefore, this article is important to analyze the dynamics that occur in living a domestic life for underage marriage couples from the perspective of Islamic family psychology (Murcahya, 2010).
Previous research has explained a lot about the phenomenon and prevention of child marriage; therefore, in general, some previous studies include.First, Achmad Subutul Ulum explained early marriage's positive and negative impacts so that it has implications for household harmony, as seen from the perspective of community leaders and married couples who commit early marriage (Ulum, 2022).Sri Rahayu explained the main factors for underage marriage and its implications for domestic life (Rom, 2022).Basriadi explained the factors that encourage early marriage and the impact of early marriage from Maslahah Mursalah's perspective (Kurniawan, Handesman, Rahmadi, & Najib, 2020).Suba Dementia The research focuses on preventing early marriage by examining parents' obligation to prevent child marriage: Maslahah Mursalah's perspective.Imroatul Mufidah contains cases of marriage dispensation, which is increasing yearly (MUFIDAH, 2020).It contains the limitations of problems that focus on the prevention of underage marriage, which is reviewed from Islamic family psychology and sees the element of maslahah mursalah towards the prevention of underage marriage; this article contains differences and novelties from previous research; this study focuses on two objectives, namely to understand and analyze the dynamics of underage marriage from the perspective of Islamic family psychology and also to understand and analyze the efforts of underage marriage perpetrators in dealing with family problems in Bolo District, Bima Regency.

Method
The research method used is qualitative field research (field research) / descriptive field research.The research location is in the Bolo District, Bima Regency, in Tambe, Rasabou, Bontokape, and Nggembe Villages.The primary data sources used in this study were obtained from underage marriage perpetrators, parents, officials at KUA Bolo District, and religious figures; secondary data was obtained through literature such as books, journals, and other written works.The data collection method in this study is by using an observation method that is important and prioritized to be carried out in observing the psychology, nature, condition, and understanding of the informants of underage marriage perpetrators when answering questions so that the researcher can describe the dynamics of marriage that occurs in underage marriage perpetrators.Interviews are conducted directly between the researcher and the informants and documentation.

The dynamics of underage marriage reviewed by Islamic Family Psychology
The life journey in marriage will always experience changes and ups and downs.Many things will affect the dynamics of marriage.Some marriages are disharmonious because married couples are not ready to fulfill their roles (Mayangsari, Prabowo, & Hijrianti, 2021).Married couples are not ready for various challenges that come one after another, so conflicts are slightly exaggerated.The consequences of underage marriage include low emotional maturity in facing the challenges and responsibilities associated with marriage (Triadhari, Afridah, & Salsabila, 2023).
The life journey in marriage will always experience changes and ups and downs.Many things will affect the dynamics of marriage.Some marriages are disharmonious because married couples are not ready to fulfill their roles.Married couples are not ready for various challenges that come one after another, so conflicts are slightly exaggerated.The consequences of underage marriage include low emotional maturity in facing the challenges and responsibilities associated with marriage.The Impact of Underage Marriage in Dealing with Marriage Dynamics: 1. Fulfillment of Obligations and Responsibilities in the Family Husband and wife have roles and responsibilities in domestic life.The husband plays a very important role in his family, where he plays the role of the head of the family, a source of material, a giver of protection and comfort to his wife, a director of development, a model, and a role model for his wife and children.The husband's role as the head of the family is to earn a living, which is the main role a husband must carry out.Therefore, he must meet all the needs of his family members.In a family other than the husband, a wife also has a role that is no less important than a husband, the husband's companion.As a wife, it has become her instinct to accompany her husband in joys and sorrows so that a family built together will be easy to achieve its goals and functions.A wife must be a driver and supporter of her husband's progress.Some underage married couples do not understand the roles and responsibilities in the family; husbands who do not have a job and still spend time outside the home do not pay attention to household conditions, and the maintenance of their wives and children is not fulfilled.As happened with Na and Y, it shows that the average person who marries underage does not have a job due to financial unpreparedness, so prejudice and lack of motivation that because they are still minors, they become dependents of their parents even though they are married.This encourages some of these couples not to fulfill their responsibilities to support their wives and children, and they still depend on and rely on help from their parents.
Meanwhile, some couples with the motivation and maturity to carry out domestic relationships fulfill the obligations and responsibilities that married couples must fulfill.This happened to the couple U and D, who, although at the beginning of the marriage, the wife had difficulties in carrying out their roles because the husband was more understanding and the wife learned from experience, the couple was able to divide their roles and duties.

Impaired Self-Adjustment
Humans are required to adjust to the social, psychological, and surrounding natural environment.Life itself naturally also encourages humans to adjust constantly.Selfadjustment means a dynamic process that aims to change individual behavior to create a more appropriate relationship between the individual and his environment.With these limitations, limitations can be given that human abilities can make pleasant relationships between humans and the environment.Anxiety and depression come to underage couples.Based on the results of interviews, several couples experienced impaired self-adjustment because of embarrassment and regret for what happened, especially since the cause of marriage was pregnancy out of wedlock, then on average, at the beginning of marriage, lived with in-laws and was not well received by in-laws so that it was difficult to adjust.

Communication Established in Couples
Underage married couples cannot communicate well; in living a household life, they have the habit of being silent or ignoring each other when there are difficulties for each couple in dealing with marital dynamics, often prioritizing emotions so that conflicts are never resolved.As is the case from the information of underage marriage perpetrators, among others, couples M and A, couples G and H.Meanwhile, in couples U and D, Yu and B, it is quite visible because they are maturing.Prejudiced that married people need maturity in responding to challenges.Parents support the couple when they have experienced conflicts that can be resolved by communicating.However, some emotions are felt; it does not become a protracted conflict.

Domestic Violence (KDRT)
The potential for violence in underage couples is always there.It is very risky to build a household because the age is not able to manage emotions and prioritize ego and temperament, and couples often blame each other, leading to violence committed by couples.As happened to NH and I, Pairs N and S.

Health in Babies
Women who marry underage have the risk of not being able to conceive and give birth.It can cause miscarriage or death for mothers and babies, then babies born stunted.Based on information from several underage marriage couples, due to circumstances, they are not ready to feel pressure and stress during the pregnancy process, so they have a miscarriage.Marriage carried out by a minor married couple in Kec.Bolo has much stunting that has an impact on the health of babies.Judging from the implementation of the couple, the pregnant woman does not meet the nutrition standards and experiences pressure and stress, which has an impact on the child conceived.Many of them, when wives are pregnant, unconsciously feel emotional and angry that it will have an impact on the child they are carrying.
The dynamics of underage marriage have an impact on the lives of couples.Every behavior is based on many factors that determine it.The underage marriage that occurs is based on the motive of getting pregnant outside of marriage and the desire of the perpetrator himself, just like the perpetrator J gets married of his own volition, but if you look at the implementation of the marriage that is carried out there is no motivation but only limited to desire, it can be seen that the life that still spends time outside the home does not have a job.The fulfillment of the needs of the wife still depends on the parents, committing violence against the wife without emotional control, so indirectly, perpetrator J does not realize that he has decided to get married just because of desire without any behavior to fulfill the purpose of the marriage itself.
Marriage must be maintained through attitudes and behaviors that do good to each other (Mua'syarah bil ma'ruf) in QS.An-Nisa/4:19: "And properly associate with them.If you do not like them, be patient because you may not like something, but Allah has done him much good." The verse above illustrates that a husband and wife must always think, try, and do everything best for each other.This verse is one of the pillars of marriage to deepen mutual understanding and affection.All of this will be realized in the family to be harmonious.For married couples who have motivation in marriage, always in the implementation of marriage, they should maintain attitudes and behaviors towards each other, both in fulfilling obligations and responsibilities and in communicating and adjusting with the partner.Maturity is not necessarily about age but also about the maturity of attitude and behavior.Marriage contains great social responsibility and carries the vision of sakinah and mawaddah warmth (bringing self-peace, happiness, and love).
Dynamics is an allusion to the psychological system that emphasizes changes in the causes of unconscious behavior.Where psychological factors emphasize control, desire, motive, and the like, whether consciously or not, are the main determinants of behavior.Marriage creates several moral, social, and economic consequences, which give rise to a new role and responsibility for each husband and wife.The role carried out after marriage will feel difficult if it is not previously balanced with good mental and financial preparation.
Influencing Factors in Dealing with the Dynamics of Underage Marriage in Bolo District, Bima Regency, include: 1. Couple Psychology Factors The implementation of underage marriage by couples who have not been able to overcome the dynamics of marriage in Kec.The Bolo does not consider and evaluate whether the couple has enough emotional and intellectual maturity to live a married life because most of those who marry are underage in the district.Bolo due to accident factors (pregnancy out of wedlock) so that marriage is not based on knowledge, emotional maturity, and mature preparation both financially.As a result, some couples have not been able to manage their emotional temperament, so prioritizing emotions when facing family problems leads to violence against their wives.Meanwhile, some couples who, even at the beginning of the marriage, experienced difficulties in undergoing the marriage process were able to mature themselves in the implementation, so they helped deal with the ups and downs in marriage.

Factors of Lack of Understanding and Communication
The form of the implementation of underage marriage in Kec.Some couples often blame each other, communicate ineffectively, and silence each other (ignore) because they do not want to fight, preferring to keep the problem quiet rather than solve it.Meanwhile, several other couples who can overcome the dynamics of marriage can be seen in their implementation because they mature by trying to understand their partner's needs and choose to communicate well.

Factors of not Understanding Roles and Responsibilities in the Family
In the implementation of underage marriage in some couples, the husband prefers to spend time outside the house with friends; there is no difference in life before and after marriage, so his role as a husband in being responsible as the head of the family should provide an inward living is not fulfilled.Meanwhile, in the implementation of marriage for some couples who have an understanding of living, their roles and responsibilities are to meet the needs of the wife and children, provide birth and mental support, and divide the roles when the husband works, the wife at home takes care of the children.

Factors Lacking Family Support
Underage marriage in Bolo District has been implemented for couples who have not overcome the dynamics of marriage.Some lack support and direction from their parents and those closest to them, so they experience difficulties living married.In some other couples, even though the parents initially did not approve of the marriage, the parents still provide direction and advice in helping to live a married life; this can be seen in the implementation when the couple has problems are often assisted by parents in providing direction, advice and helping to solve problems.

Factors that are not able to adjust themselves in marriage
The implementation of married life for couples experiences challenges in adjusting because of the desire to defend themselves rather than choosing to adjust.Meanwhile, some couples can overcome this by choosing to appreciate when there are differences with their spouses, which can be seen in their respective abilities in adjusting to their spouse and family circumstances.
The researcher's analysis of the dynamics of underage marriage shows that some of the perpetrators have not fully carried out marriage properly; this can be seen when they still do not think maturely and do not fully understand the functions of a family.According to the facts that occur in the field in dealing with the dynamics of marriage, they have not been fully realized.The cause is associated with psychological aspects, which are the cognitive aspects, and cognitive aspects are the basis for prejudice.So, if it is related to the psychological aspect of the Islamic family, it has not been realized.When these aspects of psychology are not met, it will greatly affect a person's psychology in dealing with the dynamics of marriage.Some of them have not been able to overcome the dynamics of marriage due to a lack of preparation and consideration of the psychological state of the couple as seen from the cognitive aspect, namely the aspects of prejudice, motivation, emotions, and interpersonal relationships of the couple have not been realized.So that the husband and wife feel that their household is less harmonious because they do not have a mature psychological readiness, both mentally and mentally, for building a household.

Efforts of Underage Marriage Perpetrators in Dealing with Family Problems
Relationships between individuals will always experience problems and domestic conflicts, whether family or social.Couples who marry underage are considered not mature enough to control emotions, so they often experience conflicts just because of differences of opinion.Uncontrolled and prolonged family conflicts will hurt the integrity of the household.Facing family problems is also a learning process for couples to reach maturity.Therefore, young married couples need to have skills in dealing with household problems or the ability to manage problems well.
Diversity is commonplace as a gift from God and diversity in family relationships.Married couples are certainly not always the same when fostering a household; there will be differences, be it differences in habits, perspectives, or behaviors.For this reason, couples must be able to deal with household problems, manage differences, know the sources of conflict that are usually present in the family, and solve these problems effectively so that they do not become prolonged problems.The following are the efforts made by the perpetrators of underage marriage: 1. Self-Adjustment in Marriage The importance of adjustment between each other and the responsibilities of husband or wife in a marriage affect the success of family life.In this case, success will have a positive impact on marital satisfaction.As with the implementation of underage marriage that occurs in couples U and D, U has a mature attitude that, although at the beginning of the marriage has difficulties in establishing a domestic life, the ability to understand and respond positively to direction and the husband who provides an example in behaving, solving problems, therefore the wife learns a lot so that she can adjust to the process of married life.Based on the results of interviews obtained from the couple U and D said: "My husband who understands and adjusts more, at first I was not immediately able to accept and understand the situation of the household, especially in the early days of marriage, slowly I was able to learn to understand and adjust to my husband in dividing roles and duties when we have problems my husband is enough to make me understand and not let my emotions go, and we can overcome well communicate to solve it".

Yielding to Each Other and Respecting Differences
Each couple has advantages in their household with the factor that one of their partners is still underage, so that they have advantages and disadvantages so the attitude of mutual understanding and acceptance from each couple affects the creation of the couple's ability to deal with family problems.As is the case with the implementation of the marriage of the N and S couple, at the beginning of the marriage, the wife lacks comfort because she still lives with her parents and lacks attention and direction; when problems occur, the couple only tries in their way, but after moving from the parents, it brings influence to both of them in carrying out the marriage, when one of them feels that he has made a mistake choosing to give in and listen to each other.As can be seen from the interview results of the N and S couple, the N and S couple said: "In the beginning, I experienced a big conflict because I was not comfortable living with my in-laws.However, moving out of my in-laws' house brought changes in our marriage if a problem could have been overcome without using emotions, even if I made a mistake in giving in and listening to what my husband said."

Couples are given Parental Direction
The family around the young couple also plays an important role in marriage, which can affect its success.The ability of couples to deal with family problems, the involvement of parents or close people in resolving conflicts, getting direction and advice for the good and resilience of their households, couples try to add insight and experience about domestic life, improve themselves so that they can mature themselves in dealing with family problems.As happened to the couple Yu and B Yu and B, Yu (wife) said: "I have experienced problems, but it did not become a big conflict because we usually fix it with one of us giving in and not letting go of our emotions.Thanks to the support and advice of my parents and those closest to me as well".B (Husband) said: "The problems that have happened have not become big; we used to communicate to solve problems even though there were emotions between us that did not drag on and could be resolved".

Couples Communicate in Solving Problems
The key to running a couple's life is communication between husband and wife when dealing with family problems.Married couples who know themselves and know their partner personally have provisions to understand each other more easily.Coupled with continuing to maintain mature communication with your partner, as well as maintaining passion between your partner, commitment and emotional closeness will be well maintained.If viewed from the three efforts of the couple, communication is the key for young couples in carrying out married life and facing family problems.
So, the three couples can be seen to have a positive attitude towards responding to household conditions and maturing themselves to face family problems.
Meanwhile, the efforts of several couples who have obstacles in dealing with family problems: 1. Couples Have not Been Able to Eliminate Habits Before Marriage The implementation of marriage carried out by underage couples has difficulties in leaving the customs before marriage.Couples still spend much time outside the house, hanging out with friends like other bachelors.So, because there is no attitude to change and one is not aware of the treatment of marital life, it makes it difficult for couples to face family problems.As happened to the NH and I couple, the husband often spends time outside the home with his friends; there is no difference in life before and after marriage with the wife who has difficulty accepting the habit triggers becoming an obstacle in facing family problems, As the statement of the NH and I couple, NH (wife) said: "the husband has not been able to leave his habits in the time before marriage, That is what makes it difficult for me to accept and I cannot understand my husband yet.The unfulfilled maintenance of my children and I triggered problems; even every day, we quarreled, and my temperamental husband sometimes liked to play with his hands, always emotional.I (Husband) said: "After marriage, I could not leave life fully when I was single.Our wedding journey will flow, and we will be able to understand each other."2. Couple's Habits in Keeping Problems Quiet The personalities between husband and wife must shape each other to harmonize through giving and receiving.This early period is the most vulnerable part for young couples, and it can harm their household.The couple's demographic and psychological situation requires adjustments to understand the couple's habits.A habit that often appears in married households is that they are not used to changing attitudes.As happened to 4 couples who committed underage marriage, couples M and A, F, and D, NU and A, and N and A in their domestic life, the couple turned out not to have implemented interpersonal relationships properly.When there are problems in their household, they silence or ignore each other and then argue, which then causes them not to greet each other for a few days instead of solving it with a cool head.Based on the information provided, Couple M and A in Rasabou Village, M (Wife) said: "During marriage there must be problems, even small problems can become big problems, using more emotions, there is no good communication, so every time there is a problem we keep quiet more later.Sometimes, my mother is also the one who helps solve our problems."A (Husband) said: "Surely in marriage, there will be problems; maybe during the marriage, we do not solve it by communicating or talking about it because most of the problems we face will be good on our own".
Couples F and D in Nggembe Village, F (wife) said: "We still learn a lot to understand each other.Usually if there is a problem of keeping each other quiet, the next day or two is good for ourselves".D (Husband) said: "In marriage, there must be problems; maybe our marriage has not been resolved by communicating or talking about it".Couples N and A, N (wife) said: "Often problems often cannot be solved; only put on each other's emotions, the problems we face will improve themselves".A (Husband) said: "There must be problems in the marriage relationship; later it will also improve by itself".

Desire to Solve Problems from One Party
The obstacle in dealing with family problems is that one of the partners allows the problem, and the other wants to solve it.Marriage is a process of relationship between two people who should have mutual understanding.Because family problems will not be solved if only one person wants to try.As happened to couples E and B, the wife's personality is emotional and quick to anger, so she does not solve problems properly with her husband, where the husband provides much understanding but does not provide success for the wife in the center of self-control managing emotions.Based on the results of interviews with couples E and B in Bontokape Village, he said: "Because of unpreparedness, I was emotional and angry, but my husband gave me the understanding not to be angry.When there is a problem I want to solve quickly, maybe because my husband is quiet, so that is what causes our communication to be less intense".

Temperamental Spouse Personality
Personality includes all patterns of behavior and traits that are distinctive and predictable in a person.Couples who marry underage have different personalities.Therefore, emotional feelings must be understood as symptoms that must be overcome and can be changed.Emotional feelings must be controlled with caution and patience.As in the J and W, Y and A couples, the facts of the underage marriage couple include they have a temperamental personality that hinders in managing family problems and triggers a quarrel; even though the parents have given direction, it does not change the personality of the couple.Based on the results of interviews with the couple, J and W said: "A wife who does not understand the journey of marriage still acts like a child of a person who does not know anything, so I am more with friends who cannot fully understand my wife".Couples Y and A, Y said: "My husband and I often quarrel, even though it is small, we cannot understand each other.So that the problem is raised a little, sometimes the husband cannot hold back his usual emotions of breaking things and likes to play with hands".

Attitude of Mutual Blame
Underage marriage perpetrators do not understand how to manage the household, and married couples who often blame each other hinder them from facing family problems.As only the information from the couple G and H said: "In living this married life, of course, we have problems; I admit that we are still holding on to emotions, and the slightest problem can become big.My husband, who often blames me for small things that make me emotional, the habit of uttering rude words can trigger us to quarrel and end up making conflicts".
So, based on the explanation above, what has much influence in dealing with family problems for underage marriage perpetrators is behavior control itself, where behavior control is a person's feelings about the efforts they make in realizing a certain behavior.These feelings are related to control behavior and the control center.The center of control relates to the individual's belief that success in doing something depends on his efforts.The perception of this behavior control can change according to the situation and the type of behavior performed.It can be seen from 3 couples who can deal with family problems have a positive attitude towards the problems that occur, such as in couples N and S, wives who from the beginning of marriage are not well accepted by their in-laws but can behave and behave with adults even though their external factors from their in-laws do not receive support and direction but because of the positive attitude and subjective norms from the husband so that they can control themselves and help in dealing with family challenges as time goes by.The psychological aspects of prejudice, motivation, emotions, and interpersonal relationships have not been fully implemented.So, it impacts some couples who have not been able to overcome the dynamics of marriage.Then, the efforts of underage marriage perpetrators in dealing with family problems that have much influence in dealing with family problems lies in the control of behavior itself, as seen from the three couples who can deal with family problems have a positive attitude and subjective norms towards the problems that occur, so that they can control themselves and help in dealing with family problems.Meanwhile, nine other underage marriage perpetrators experienced obstacles in dealing with family problems because their attitudes, subjective norms, and, most importantly, behavioral control had not been fulfilled.